Shift Supervisors at a large Pilbara mine site were filled with pride this week after one of their best dump truck drivers achieved a career milestone.
Mike Jackson, 34, had operated plant on-site for well over a year now and his seniors were hopeful that one day he would not only hit his load targets, but also nail his most challenging job expectation: Have just one clear thought in his brain.
Thankfully for his superiors, that day finally came early on Tuesday morning.
“I got out of bed and it felt a bit cold outside,” Mr Jackson explained.
“So before I walked over to get some eggs and hashbrowns I thought I should probably put on a jumper first.”
The superlative cognition showed by Mr Jackson did not go unnoticed, with a raucous applause break in the crib room when he entered wearing temperature-appropriate clothing.
Shift Supervisor Dave “Rifle” Muscat told the Bugle he felt immense pride in seeing one of his employees reach such an important milestone so early in his career.
“Some of these muppets it takes years before they have a single thought in their empty head,” he admitted.
“To see a young rookie achieve such a difficult task in this industry so early, I’m just proud as punch.”
News of the coherent thought travelled quickly across the site and before long, Roy Hill Executive Chairwoman Gina Rinehart issued a statement claiming she would be recommending Mr Jackson to receive the Medal of The Order of Australia for his outstanding efforts.
Seemingly at the height of his career and with praise being heaped upon him from all corners of the industry and the country, Mr Jackson upped the ante and followed up with a second coherent thought in the very same day.
“Oh, suns come up – better bring my sunglasses outside with me,” he said in a measured and deliberate tone.
The claps and hollering came to a bitter standstill. The room fell silent and his fellow employees began looking at each other uneasily.
“No one likes a show off, fuckhead!” One shouted.
“Yeah, get back in the cab ya fuggin egghead.” Another spat.
Just as quickly as his ship had come in, Mr Jackson was forced to return to the obscurity of his 777 cab, reflecting on the time he flew a little too close to the sun.
