“We’ve lost Kade.”
A group of Perth school friends are today grieving the personality of their close pal Kade Williams after the newly relocated Karratha man proudly swayed his head back and forth to Creed blaring from a portable speaker attached to his golf cart.
Catching up for the first time since the big move, the Aquinas alumni were subjected to the most uncouth nine-holes of their lives after the Pegs Creek man attempted to instil some course etiquette he recently acquired up north.
Originally accommodating his old chum’s new persona, accountant Brent Rogers said it all became a bit much.
“He pulled up to the course on his own golf buggy that had 4×4 tyres and CAT mudflaps… we thought it was a gag,” Rogers sullenly recalled.
“But the alarm bells really went off after he sliced it off the first tee and just played all the way up the second fairway before chipping back onto the green.
“Credit to him, he seemed totally unphased about failing to call out fore or the wellbeing of the players in front.”
Williams, 34 and a frequenter of BK8 Outfitters, reportedly started losing regular contact with his friends around the same time his Tinder profile became a portfolio of Dampier fishing conquests.
Now going under the pseudonym ‘Kados’, the man allegedly took to the tee box with a Winfield Gold nestled between his ear and boldly remarked “You guys got to come up to the red dirt country.”
“I’ll take you to the Tav, aha yeah, f**k yeah, bury me at the Tav boys,” licking his lips before shanking a glow-in-the dark ball into a wall of trees.
“Where the F**k did they come from, this course is like a bloody jarrah jail cell.”
As the group of four made their way to the ninth hole, enough silent wide-eyed glares had been passed that the men knew they were in trouble.
But it was Williams last act of putting barefoot after grading the green with his own rake that left the Mt Yokine members aghast.
Senior recruitment consultant Jake Riddel told the Karratha Bugle it might be time to sever ties.
“I can’t have that around my kids. He’s become totally unhinged.
“He also tossed a glass bottle at Richard after his drive didn’t make it past the women’s tee. What was that about?”
