A Millars Well man has been left red-faced after a spate of Perth drivers failed to show proper road etiquette that you only find in the Pilbara.
Colloquially known as the ‘Two-finger salute’ north of the 26th parallel – the commonplace gesture is used by motorists alike to acknowledge oncoming drivers as a sign of respect.
Yet, Yara superintendent John Burrows was left beside himself when he was faced with pure rejection and contempt whilst driving up West Coast Highway on his way out of leafy suburbia.
Passing by Western Suburbs toffs in their fancy Range Rovers and “weak as piss” Teslas, the 46-year-old slowly levitated his hand off the steering wheel only to be met with robot mute reactions.
“There was just no decency among any of them,” he told The Bugle.
“I thought I’d try nab a few early waves in the metro before hitting the open road.
“But even when I gave this stupid bitch the right of way in a narrow street, she just drove straight past me with no acknowledgement or expression at all… I couldn’t believe it.”
However, the further he drove the worse it got, and now well out of Perth, Burrows confessed he copped three rejections in quick succession.
“I was ropable – I’ve never moved my fingers so quickly to hit all three cars at once, yet to no avail.
“The morons must have thought I was shooing a fly off the dashboard or something… and I was not willing to go the ‘full open palm” wave, that shit is for amateurs.”
Returning from two-weeks of leave, Burrows said he was damned if we would let the ignorance spoil his holiday and proceeded to acknowledge every single incoming driver.
But after four hours of rejection, the dad-of-three admitted he started “ripping cunts new ones” albeit inside his car by himself, with the child-lock on.
“F**king dog c**t,” he let out to an ungrateful Mitsubishi Delica driver.
“You absolute piece of shit,” he recalled lashing out at another.
It was only when Grey Nomads “Barry and Maureen on 87.5” drove past that Burrows was able to salvage any last bit of self-respect.
“A wave’s a wave,” Burrows confidentially remarked.
“I was happy to oblige and by all accounts Barry looked like he was having a ripper of a time, despite his caravan hanging over half the other side of the road and nearly killing me.”
Now well into Pilbara territory, Burrows alleged the waves came in thick and fast.
“It was a moment jubilation, and I was going to soak every last bit of it up… I got one near Nanutarra, I got one near Karratha Station… I even got one in the Coles carpark.”
