“MYST-AHHH-FYEEEEEE MEEEE”
Shockwaves are being felt around the nation today as the most iconic, dripping in sex-appeal band Australia has ever produced have announced plans to reunite for one last world tour.
The news quickly stirred frantic chatter online as to who might front the band for the first time since the untimely passing of virtuoso front man Michael Hutchence in 1997 (JD Fortune doesn’t count).
The band’s record label Warner Music Group fronted fans this morning to provide an update.
“We are extremely excited to announce that HD Mechanic Frank from Pegs Creek will join the boys for a 50 country world tour,” They said.
“Our A&R rep awoke to take a midnight leak and was blown away at what he heard coming over the fence at roughly 95 decibels.”
Warner A&R staffer Chad Chenkins said he got goosebumps hearing the sultry, dulcet tones of Franks inebriated renditions.
“I’ve never before heard someone pound their outside table with such synchronicity before launching into a flawless rendition of Mystify,” he said.
“In-between cigarette breaks and lengthy chats about ‘how these pollies are bringing this country to it’s knees,’ Frank would stand up and belt out a number from the INXS catalogue with such presence and disregard for his surroundings that it was truly captivating.”
Franks neighbour on the other side Clint Mcdonald, 50, was less than excited to hear Frank now has more reason to sing up a storm in the wee hours of the night.
“Fuck sake,” He boomed.
“This guy is ruining my life, one out of tune song at a time.”
“Why at 3am, when this pissed up shithead is singing the lyrics ‘Cause I’m not sleepehhn’ in Need You Tonight, do I feel like he’s singing it directly at me?”
Frank was largely unphased when he heard the news, mostly because he was so hungover, letting out a few rancid burps before returning to his slumber.
