A brave, young steward of the grog is preparing to march into the unknown this evening.
Marcus Jacobsen, 19, took up the role of cashier at the establishment after depleting his food and rent money through various expenditures (OnlyFans).
Speaking to the Bugle prior to lacing up the boots for his 6-Close shift, he silently made the sign of the cross on one knee and pleaded to a higher power for some form of worldly protection from the horrors that await him.
“This will be my first time being the senior during the Friday night shift,” he gulped.
“Normally Susan is there to control the herds and absorb the inevitable rage that comes in the form of checked out middle-aged men with alcoholic noses like a summer strawberry.”
“Alas, tonight they have bestowed me with the honour and I shan’t let them down.” he pledged as he kissed his hand and placed it upon the Thirsty Camel logo on his unwashed polo.
Sauntering off to his beat up Suzuki Swift he stopped, glancing back to his shithole Pegs Creek 3×1 and praying that he be lucky enough to see it again in 5 hours.




