After rounding off his failed trip through WA campaigning to lift the ban on uranium, Leader of the Opposition Peter Dutton has come home with more than just a bruised ego.
Upon returning home to Brisbane for a bit of R&R, he was puzzled when he accidentally snapped the front door handle clean off.
“What the hell,” he muttered, looking down at his now glowing hands.
It would appear that after numerous visits to uranium rich areas in the state, Mr Dutton picked up more radioactive exposure than he bargained for, and rather than making him lethargic and sickly, it had endowed him with unimaginable strength.
After splashing a bit of water on his face and trying to come to terms with the situation, he took his new powers for a test drive.
“At first I just wanted to see if I could finally move the TV cabinet that I always have to ask the mrs to lift for me,” He said.
“But now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna head over to Paris and show those yanks that just because we bought their obsolete submarine, doesn’t mean we have to get on our knees for ’em at the big games.”
Upon seeing the Leader of the Opposition lifting 500kg above his head, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was reportedly last spotted bathing in nuclear runoff and attempting to crush cans between his fingers.
