A senior Pilbara policeman has been identified as one of the perpetrators blaring shit music until the sun comes up in the sleepy suburbs of Karratha.
The shocking revelation comes as The Bugle took matters into its own hands and probed a spate of unanswered noise complaints to identify the dregs of society.
Visting a Pegs Creek property at 6am on Thursday, our reporter was stunned when Superintendent Cameron Massaman answered.
Leaning against the door frame in an open kimono with a throbbing erection, Massaman was in disbelief that someone reported Sultans of Swing thundering from his backyard.
“Listen, man, you are welcome to join the party, I am all about bringing back the 60s vibes, love and peace, man,” the Superintendent said.
“Forget about the complaints, man, if you can’t beat them, join them!
“Back in the sixties, we used to share everything… music, Mary Jane, women and men.
“Heck, I made love to many, many women – often outdoors, in the mud and rain, and it’s very possible and man slipped in.
“There would be no way of telling.”
Former mayor Peter Long was spotted in the household, sitting next to a lava lamp and charging a bucket bong whilst launching into an anti-establishment diatribe.
WA Police later confirmed in a statement they have totally given up on patrolling music.
With the conversation going nowhere, our reporter pressed on and identified more suspects in Bulgarra, Baynton and Nickol.
One distressed resident from Baynton said the noise from a mining company house was so constant that she was forced to play the ace up her sleeve.
“For a week straight, I stood out the front of their property and blew into a Vuvuzela until they fucked off.
“I lost friends, my family, and my dignity over it, but now people on our street can sleep in peace.”
While a Bulgarra family-of-five said they were forced to listen to Ghetto Superstar on repeat for 6 hours until their neighbors started punching on.
An FOI showed there have been more than 20,000 noise complaints made to the City of Karratha in 2026 alone.
The CoK was reached for comment.
