Pilbara residents looking for a late-night fast-food treat will be subject to mandatory drug testing under a new operation by WA Police.
The operation, named “Taskforce Beug”, will require visitors to any fast-food drive-through services across the Pilbara to submit to mandatory THC testing before receiving their order.
Drug tests will be conducted on any patrons after 9pm, every night of the week.
THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, is the psychoactive chemical in marijuana, also known as Ganja, the jazz cigarette, pot, puff, Mary-Jane, or weed, that provides its user with a high.
Pilbara police are focusing on the issue of cannabis usage after community complaints regarding a giant bong sculpture on the Salt flats and a bong being found on a Karratha senior high school booklist.
“Preliminary investigations suggest as many as 99 per cent of drivers to Pilbara fast food outlets after 9pm are looking to satisfy their munchies,” Senior Sergeant David Copril said.
“Under the new system, orders will be placed and paid for as normal, but drivers will need to provide a saliva swab before they can receive their order.
“Any driver who fails a test will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and any food left behind confiscated and appropriately disposed of by officers on scene.
“During preliminary testing one officer came across a man who had ordered four Double Quarter Pounders for himself – if that’s not justification in and of itself I’m not sure what is.”
One local fast-food operator, who asked for their identity to remain anonymous, said the operation was likely to cripple business at its most profitable time.
“What!” he exclaimed at hearing the news.
“They’re doing what?!”
“This industry, particularly in Karratha, is propped up by stoned teenagers and adults looking for a late-night salty feed.
“Next they’ll start doing breathos at the bottle shop drive-through!
“Now that would be devastating.”
Local stoner and drug dealer Luke Hollingsworth said it was yet another case of government overreach, and a blatant attempt at mind control.
“Just anudda chance for Babylon to step on ya head mon,” he said in an affected Jamaican accent despite being a middle class white kid.
He coughed several times between words and our reporter asked if he could lower the volume of “Get up, stand up” by Bob Marley and the Wailers playing on his speaker.
“That’s why I left school in Year 9, man. Too much mind control – and maths.”
Mr Hollingsworth, who lit up a cone as our junior reporter was walking to the door, was last seen turning on The Matrix and dipping his hand into a family size bag of Doritos.
The new operation comes into full effect from 9pm this evening.
