Cossack, WA –
Erected in the 1800s, the Cossack lighthouse is one of the few buildings left that is able to shine a light on the town’s historic past as a promiscuous oasis.
Calls are now being made by locals who want to see the ageing building restored and preserved to its former glory as the most notoriously opportunistic fuck-spot in the northwest.
John Jismaker, 62, told the Bugle that his grandfather was present for some of what he calls the ‘rambunctious years’ during the 1900s.
“Oh yeah, Grandad did some damage out in Cossack.”
“He would often pull over at Cossack citing some random issue with the engine and say ‘okay kids, I’m just going to lighthouse to check if someone can help with the car,”
“He would return roughly 45 minutes later drenched in sweat and with his shirt on backwards.”
John told the Bugle that the town was originally called Cocksack before being changed with the arrival of Russian émigrés in the late 1910’s.
This recounting aligns with many locals who were children during the Baby-Boomer era, with many so much as declaring there were ‘Cossack Sirens’ during the time, where the streets teemed with busty bodacious broads, bound to parlay with a gentleman caller at a moments notice.
Whilst oft busy overseeing the thriving swinging scene in Point Samson, former Mayor Peter “All Night” Long was reported as also making an appearance at Cossack when he had time.
“Ohhh yeah, Cossack was alive in the 60s baby,” he said.
“There were enough blokes that were knackered from working in mining that Cossack became a bit of a speakeasy for the forgotten wives of the Pilbara,”
“If you didn’t bring a 10L jerry can of water with you, you ran the risk of dying of thirst the action was so constant.”
A young air refrigeration mechanic named Kevin, echoed Long’s comments and claimed the lighthouse was the epicentre of the summer of love in the 1960s.
“Men, women, you name it,” he said.
“I slept with members of each of the five language groups of the Ngarda-Ngarli – all at the same time.
“There wasn’t an orifice that beaming light couldn’t guide my master(s) too.”
The town also has a dark past during the 1800’s, one of indentured workers and indigenous slaves during the pearl diving era. Something that historians say must be respected and cannot be separated from the far more leisure filled, ‘pound-town’ era of the 1900’s.
Local historian Barry Mcockiner says walking through the historic buildings in Cossack, the walls tell a story.
“If this place could talk, it’d probably let out a hedonistic moan,” he said.
“Fortunately these buildings negative history from their inception has been overwritten with a positive bang”
“These buildings played host to some of the most impressive sex parties of all time.”
“On a day with no wind, you can actually still get a faint whiff of the undeniably distinct ‘stank’ that arises after a fairly active orgy.”
The Bugle was able to track down one of the few remaining women who claimed to have lived in the area around the time. After a swinging decade of pure decadence, she claims that like all good things, it was bound to come to an end.
Susanne “the keeper” Boglet, 91, said she took a break from the region in the early nineties after short-lived dalliance with a Holden Rodeo driver.
“The lights were on but nobody was home, if you catch my drift,” Boglet recalled.
“That was one of the most lacklustre roots I’ve had in my time.
“The show was over as soon as I started wriggling my pinky up his sphincter – it made the bald man cry instantly.”
Aspirations for repairs on the historic lighthouse are reportedly going to be community led, with the Ashkarnah Karratha Adult Store accepting donations for the cause.
