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Tits, Beers Announced in Radical Karratha Council Meeting Push

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The City of Karratha has announced it will introduce the classic pub game Chase the Ace, beers, as well as skimpies to its monthly council meetings in a bid to increase attendance.

Amid flagging interest in local government affairs, council has unanimously voted to approve the unusual measure with an eye to getting bums on the seats.

Karratha mayor Daniel Scott says the initiative will come into effect at next month’s meeting.

“This is a creative initiative to increase the interest, collaboration and community cooperation of council and ratepayers,” he said.

“It’s no secret interest in local government has fallen – our last four meetings have attracted just one member of the public: an 80-year-old complaining about non-white visitors to the region.

“Bringing beers and Chase the Ace to our Ordinary Council Meetings is predicted to boost interest in local government meetings, improve communication between the council and its constituents and give a small bump to the City’s budget for this year’s Christmas Party.

“And for the last time, Doris, we can’t do anything about the Asians and the Africans.”

The bar will open – I mean council chambers will open – one hour before the scheduled meeting start time.

Cr Scott confirmed the Chase the Ace draw will be held at the conclusion of each meeting, to ensure residents stick around.

He promised only the finest European skimpies, direct from Carnarvon, would keep patrons entertained throughout the meetings.

An advert in the Pilbara News explicitly requests “heavier applicants need not apply”.

“Last month not a single person entered the public gallery – we called it a night without even opening the agenda,” he said.

“But I had to draw a line. I need to justify this six-figure salary ha-ha.”

Following the meeting’s closure, council chambers will remain open for an hour while reruns of 2000s classic The Man Show are broadcast on a projector. Last drinks will be called 10 minutes before closing time.

“Ziggy Zoggy, Ziggy Zoggy, Oy Oy Oy!” Chanted Cr Scott.

Karratha Bugle

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