Karratha, WA:
A Karratha bricklayer has today defied critics who say his bowel movements smell “worse than roadkill,” claiming that the site Portaloo had the potential to be developing powers beyond it’s means.
Troy Bushell, 36, often saves up until after his first coffee of the morning on site before plundering the facilities, much to the dismay of his fellow workers. He told the Bugle of his reasoning at smoko.
“My wife has literally banned me from the home shitter,” he claimed.
“After work hours I have to drive round the corner to the petrol station to lay some cable, and I’m already wearing thin with staff there as well.”
“Once I saved it up overnight and dropped it at the site toilet the following morning, and the smell was so bad that the boys called tools down.”
Whilst co-workers say Mr Bushell is good value on site and is steadfast in his approach to his work, many wonder how much longer they can endure his bombardments on the work toilet.
“It must be something in his diet,” a co-worker remarked.
“Smell’s like he has eaten nothing but McDonalds and KFC for months.”
“And the sounds, Jesus Christ the sounds.”
“Like a high pressure hose spontaneously combusting!”
In the weeks that followed our initial interview, Mr Bushell told the Karratha Bugle that he adopted a vegan diet in an attempt to curb his fragrant BM’s. Co-workers were quick to quell any hints of success.
“Now it just smells like someone dropped a stinkbomb on the floor of the Amazon rainforest,” One said.
“Like soggy paper dipped in pure sulfur.”