Roebourne, WA:
WA’s first Surveyor-General John Septimus Roe has risen from the grave and is not impressed by the dedications made to his considerable legacy.
Standing at the entrance to Roebourne, a suburb of Karratha and widely considered the first town in the North West, Mr Roe looked around at the smashed glass strewn on the streets and shook his head.
“What the f**k did I do to deserve having my name labelled on this dump?” John Roe quizzed.
“There’s nary a modicum of respect put on my name here, it’s a pigsty it is!”
A controversial town with a dwindling indigenous population that has suffered at the hands of a transient gold rush and the careless bludgeons of colonialism, Roebourne is far from its heyday of the late 19th century gold rush and even further still from it’s Ngarluma roots of 10,000 years ago.
The only thing John Roe could recognize as familiar were the conditions at the local Roebourne prison, where temperatures often reach up to 50 degrees and there is no air-conditioning.
“The Gaol conditions look identical from last I was here, which is bully, but where are all the refined gentlemen?”
“This man just asked me if I’d like a vegan mocha java grande soy latte, I almost threw my sherry in his face.”
Mr Roe has a significant legacy when it comes to Western Australia: Establishing the Swan River colony, helping to establish Kings Park and also participating in the disgraceful Pinjarra Massacre, responsible for the murder of an estimated 20 Binjareb men, women and children.
The John Septimus Roe statue stands on Adelaide Tce in Perth should you like to visit it, or perhaps spit on it.
Prior to white settlement, Roebourne went by the name Yirramagardu, a Gnarluma word for a native fig species local to the area. Mr Roe conceded that it was strange that the town adopted the name of a British naval officer and explorer.
“Now that you mention it, that is a bit odd,” John Roe admitted.
“Why, I feel quite unsafe in these parts without my blunderbuss, they can call it Timbuktu for all I care, I’m headed back to Berkshire!”