Karratha, WA
A local 4×4 accessories supplier is putting their money where their mouth is when it comes to customer satisfaction, undergoing a $300,000 conversion of their small frontage carpark into a boggy mudflat for the purposes of product testing.
The decision comes on the heels of constant queries from Hunter 4X4 customers, deemed by management to have “all the gear & no idea,” misusing recovery equipment and generally being in the dark about how a four-wheel-drive actually works.
Store manager Mark Swiggins said the initiative was already a resounding success.
“Some people have got absolutely no clue how to drive the car they own,” he said.
“A pinhead from below the 26 will get up here, spend a hundred grand on a tooled up 70 Series and then set off without even a YouTube tutorial on recovery techniques.
“We have seen enough snatch-strap slingshots to know that something had to be done.”
The store is being praised by Local Government and safety regulators, but not all parties are happy about the initiative.
Karratha 4×4 instructor Kym Messer, who’s enjoyed a monopoly on overpriced off-road driving courses in Karratha for more than 20 years, claims the “relatively newcomers” were cutting his grass.
“I can kiss 50 per cent of my business goodbye then aye?” the 50-year-old man said through a puff of a White Ox rollie with no filter.
“These supercheap wannabe dickheads march in and think they can rustle my client base?… Guess again clowns.”
Kym staged a protest out the front of the store but tragically passed away after getting his leg stuck in the mud and slowly becoming engulfed in wet sand. A small placard in his honour was later placed near the pit warning pedestrians of the inherent risks of walking through the boggy area.
However, Hunter 4X4 regulars have welcomed the transformation, citing the role-playing elements incorporated into the training that are making a huge difference out in the real world.
“Now I know how to deal with those condescending wankers who pull up when you are bogged saying ‘need a bitta help there pal? hahaha’, as the training on-site with Hunter 4X4 has equipped me with the tools I need,” one customer said.
“I used to respond with “F**k you c**t” and just continued to spin my wheels until my mate finished his shift and came to pick me up,” another admitted.
“Now I can successfully un-bog my car without the constant use of profanity or tears.”
