Karratha, WA.
When life gives you World Heritage level ancient rock art next to one of the biggest gas projects on the planet, you have to make lemonade.
This is the current challenge foisted on Tourism WA – promote a globally historically significant tourist attraction in the petroglyphs in Murujuga – that lies directly in the shadow of an industry hell-bent on it’s destruction.
The Murujuga National Park is home to over a million culturally important petroglyphs (rock art) that are potentially 40,000 years old. Next door is one of the biggest gas projects the world, run by Woodside.
Tourism WA decided to address the controversy head on, unveiling their latest campaign, “Visit it while you still can!” earlier this morning.
“this is a tough nut to crack,” said CEO of Tourism WA Bec Bronwyn.
“The North West has such beautiful natural wonder, teeming with tourism opportunities,”
“But it’s also being slowly rotted out from the inside by multinational industries at an unprecedented rate.”
“We have decided to use the fact that these tourist attractions might be completely destroyed by the time your children’s children graduate as a plus, not a minus.”
In light of a report released showing elevated porosity in rocks closest to industry and anonymous scientists blowing the whistle on interference with the integrity of the report itself, Ms Bronwyn told the Bugle time was running out to cash in.
“It’s time to milk this cow before it gets put out to pasture for good, if you know what I mean,” she winked.
“what’s clear from our polling data is that people don’t really care about the lifespan of a tourist attraction, only that they want full, unrestricted access and not to be finger-wagged about their personal contribution to it’s demise,”
“Similar to what we saw when we banned people from climbing Uluru – every redneck and his dog was out here the day before the ban to climb the fucker. Not quite the sentiment when we banned it.”
“When we chucked our data into Chat GPT, it told us that Industry and Government at a local, state and federal level had all failed at the very achievable task of not acidifying the air enough to wipe out over 40 centuries of history,”
“On the upside, when the art is all gone – there are a few investors keen to put a paintball park or go-kart track in it’s place.”
Our reporter spoke with a grey nomad from Carnarvon named Les who was making his way through Karratha about his thoughts on the rock art.
“I don’t really get it,” Les pondered.
“Once you get over the fact that it’s pretty old, doesn’t really tickle my fancy,”
“I’d rather go crabbing or drink fourteen beers at the local.”
Woodside CEO Meg O’Neill fronted a press conference yesterday in an attempt to curb concerns about industries role in the destruction of the rock art.
“Far out, the rocks are fine,” vented the American native.
“Everyone’s an expert these days. It’s the idealogues using Temu and charging their phones that are the problem – not us little guys trying to keep the gas industry alive.”
“Has anyone got any questions about me being only one of three women leading an ASX20 company?? Can I get a ‘you go girl?’.
Newly minted Minister for the Environment Murray Watt is expected to grant Woodside’s application for an extension to it’s gas processing plant to 2070, a controversial albeit unsurprising decision given the Federal Government achieved none of their environmental election promises in the previous term.
“If you thought Tanya Plibersek sat on her hands for an entire term, wait til you see what I can do!” he laughed.
Head home here.
