While Premier Roger Cook has been busy striking a hard bargain to bring the NRL to WA, it has been reported two Pilbara mining bosses are fighting tooth and nail for the NRL ownership rights.
Usually getting their arsenal of St Georges Terrace lawyers to do their dirty work, today, Gina Rinehart challenged Andrew Forrest to “touch, hold and engage”.
Surrounded by reporters, Gina threw back one leg and got herself into a crouch and bind position, antagonising Forrest.
“Run it straight, I dare you,” she said.
“I’ll flatten you like your green hydrogen dream, you curly-haired weasel.”
It is unclear if Australia’s richest woman has ever played rugby league, however, a childhood friend told The Bugle she was kicked out of Auskick at a young age after earning the fearsome reputation of ‘Roadtrain Rinehart’.
“Back in those days, she’d down a Brownes Choc Chill and Traveller’s Pie before bouncedown and would have no problems splitting a pack,” the anonymous source said.
“And believe me, she’d have no troubles clearing out a changeroom either, with the most rancid post-match flatulence as she took her socks off.
“I’d hate to think what she’d be capable on a rugby pitch,” the woman said as she imagined Gina with a Jonah Lomu haircut.
Meanwhile, back at the press conference, Twiggy was reportedly starting to warm up with some high knees before he was summoned to the scrummage.
“C’mon let’s settle this, scrum me you bastard,” Gina goaded.
“Sir,” Twiggy replied pathetically like an upper-class Englishman, appealing to the referee Premier Cook.
Twiggy looked a little shaken as Gina started making John Hopoate-like hand gestures towards his lower rear torso.
The FMG chairman, who once backed the Western Force… with no ulterior motive… allegedly, had no choice but to throw down the gauntlet to save face in the hopes of achieving NRL ownership.
Turning to our reporter, he likened his chances to Rumble in the Jungle in 1974.
“Just like Muhammad Ali did to George Foreman, I’m going to have to dance around this hippo until she collapses.”
More to come.
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