Santos are feeling the full weight of the law this week, after the Oil Giant that clears well above $2.7 Billion in revenue a year was forced to pay $10,000 dollars for spewing 25,000 litres of oil condensate into the ocean in the North West.
Breaching the WA Petroleum (Submerged Lands) Act 1982 carries a maximum penalty of up to $50,000. The maximum penalty for exceeding the bag limit for fish in Western Australia is $25,000 for an individual and $50,000 for a body corporate.
When questioned on how punitive measures for causing a catastrophic pollution event can somehow be on par with catching one too many fish, Premier Roger Cook told our reporter the answer is simply to do with basic economics.
“They pay me a fuck tonne of money and you don’t,” He quipped.
“Sure it’s only a fraction of the profit they bring in from milking our country like a parasitic worm and likely don’t put back into the local economy, but maybe you just don’t understand politics.”
Senior management at Santos were sent into a frenzy of high-level meetings in order to come up with solutions to paying the hefty fee without hurting their bottom line of billions and billions of dollars.
Santos Chief Operating Officer Herbert Oozer told the Bugle the fine was harsh but fair.
“We accept the Magistrates ruling” he said.
“And whilst I can’t speak to how we will get the money together to cover this substantial fine, I can assure you it will not be taken out of the budget column for the executive team’s Christmas bonus.”
“You can’t prove that dolphin wasn’t already dead before it ingested pure petrochemicals.”