It was a decision that brought Dreamer’s Hill to its knees and left most locals annoyingly-undecided on a Friday night.
But now a Karratha Bugle investigation can reveal the real motives behind the council’s 11th hour decision to divide and conquer the food trucks in 2020.
Secret footage obtained by our reporters show outgoing Mayor Peter Long reciting verses from Sun Tzu’s Art Of War as his cronies drew up their battle plan.
The unearthed CCTV video captured Long joined by his press secretary and Local member Kevin Michel as he pored over maps, scratching his head before pointing to Wickham.
“Uh-huh… mmm… tell me Kevin, are you familiar with Chinese literature?
“To quote General Tzu ‘Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.
“Yes, oh yes, that’ll teach those generator-loving cowboys,” gloated the former Mayor.
Michel appeared to remain mute throughout the diatribe, which is yet to verified as an act of stoicism or pure obliviousness.
Marking an ‘X’ with a red biro on the Karratha LIA area, Long continued “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”
As the secret footage continued to roll, the former Mayor was seen with one leg perched up on a desk as he tuned his acoustic guitar.
His press secretary then dumped 100-page petition in front of him, signed by the whole of Karratha begging to leave the food truck vendors alone.
Riffing a few chords, Long reasoned “I’ll be damned if some canny entrepreneurs are going to get fat off the council’s surplus dime.
“The Travelling Pilburies never received any handouts… in fact we lost money touring the northwest.”
Slowly slapping his thigh to the beat, the press secretary smugly remarked “I’ve never understood ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it’.”
Long reportedly broke out into a 10 second flamenco solo before landing the final blow.
“Shred it,” he demanded.
We sent our cub reporter to Dreamer’s Hill to hear from clientele after reports that the town was reeling.
“Last week I drove all the way to Wickham after hearing Johnny’s Surf Shack had been exiled,” said an overweight man in Hi-vis.
“Those little screens showing the same surf film on repeat were nowhere to be seen… this is the fourth week I’ve resorted to the Fat Buddha.
“There’s only so many Pad Thai’s you can wolf down before the wife starts to get suspicious of me and those wonderful little Asian women”.
