“Not very talkative are you mate.”
The Department of Transport are working frantically today to undo a PR nightmare caused by a local Karratha Skippers Ticket Assessor, after it was revealed the veteran boatie accidentally gave a passing mark to an inanimate object.
Murky details have surfaced from the practical assessment held last week, where it is believed local instructor Broderick Merhkin became confused when he saw what looked to be a stout and apprehensive individual standing at the end of the jetty.
“All right bud, time to hop in and do a lap for me,” the burly individual recalled.
“Look, I know it can be daunting but it’s all very simple and straight forward, I’ll run you through it.
“Ok, have it your way, you pass the theory with flying colours and we’ll call it doogs.”
Signing off on a blank certificate as the bollard naturally wasn’t forthcoming with its personal details, Skipper Brod commended the pylon for its mute stoicism – a quality he valued highly in his pupils.
But after the Karratha Bugle obtained the certificate, a painstaking probe has brought into question the area’s 100 per cent pass rate.
“I admire his emotionless approach, but I’d be f**ked if I was going to let that space cadet put a stain on my flawless record.
“There was a headcount at the beginning… the I’s were dotted and the T’s were crossed as far as I am concerned. At the end of the day, if he crashes into some rocks or mows over an area with dive flags up, it’ll be him in front of the magistrates, not me.”
Skipper Brod was reportedly last seen in a Mexican standoff with the bollard after he insisted it leave the jetty area so he could lock up and head to the Mermaid for a settler.
