Dave Grafton, 36, is feeling all the pressure of a bomb defusal expert this week as he has still yet to inform his betrothed that she drew the short straw and will have to drive him and their 3 mates to and from the Roebourne Races this weekend.
The premier event of the annual racing calendar, the Roebourne Races draws punters from all over the Pilbara who travel from far and wide to get absolutely shitfaced, punt on horses running on a dirt track and lose $300 on Two-Up.
Being sober for the entirety of the event is widely understood to be undesirable and has been likened to sitting through an entire school play when none of your kids are even in the damn thing.
To amp himself up, Dave has been watching 90 minute YouTube videos on negotiation skills and has even wheeled out the white board to construct a flow chart for how the conversation might go.
“If she says “that’s fine,” I have to come back with “nah it’s not, expect some chocolate and flowers.” within 5 seconds or else she will go “why did you pause?” and then the whole scenario is out of whack.” He said, flustered.
When our reporter spoke with Dave’s partner Grace, she revealed she was already aware of the arrangement.
“His mate messaged me about it last week. I have known the entire time. I could bring it up, but I am enjoying watching him squirm.” She laughed.
“I have intentionally come home in a bad mood every day this week just to twist the knife a little.”
Dave was last seen talking to himself in the bathroom mirror while listening to a compilation of inspirational quotes read by David Goggins.
