Karratha motorists are being advised to lube up their arseholes before going to the servo, as conflict in the middle east intensifies
With Iran attempting to block routes for one fifth of global oil supply, analysts are speculating that a barrel of the dark stuff is going to get pretty fucking pricy soon.
Managing Director of Ampol Australia Gregory Trudgewell spoke to the Bugle recently about the economic ripple effects of the conflict.
“I’m already looking at spreadsheets that say 7 dollars a litre in less than a month,”
“And we’ll do what we can to mitigate the extra charges and blah blah blah,”
“But it’s getting harder and harder to hide my erection in the board meetings – we’re fucken on.”
The Bugle contacted the one tesla owner in Karratha, Interior Decorator Michael Chaudry, who told the Bugle of his amusement at the whole situation.
“I am loving this,” he said, whilst swirling a glass of chardonnay.
“I just think of every little mung bean fuck in his muffler-removed 4×4 blowing diesel smoke into my windscreen and now I belly laugh,”
“Enjoy the poorhouse, you uncivilised nitwits!”
