“Oh humble and mighty leader, your patience and benevolence is beyond our comprehension.”
A Roy Hill apprentice quaked in his size 12 steel caps, perched on a small landing that opened up into a luxurious palace replete with silken curtains, exotic jewels and a humungous glorping blob-human in the centre.
“Hees kimbabaloomba sa foonta” Ms Rinehart bellowed from her gold-plated throne.
The apprentices eyes darted around the room. He knew he had been brought before his supreme leader for a reason.
His numbers in the dump truck were falling well below quota and after two warnings from his supervisor, the issue was elevated.
“Umm, yeah looks it’s been hard aye,” he said, gulping in fear.
“Me Mrs is all over my back and I’m trying to quit vaping and my dogs just died.”
He continued to reel off shallow excuses until Ms Rinehart yawned and lifted her left glupulous paw.
“Quiet, simpleton,” she howled, phlegm hanging from her lips like heavy, waxen curtains.
“you are insignificant, like the pickles in my third Hungry Jacks Whopper of the day.”
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t gobble you up like a little twix bar?”
He squirmed in place as he struggled to come up with a viable reason beyond the fact that he is, like many dump truck drivers, a fucking idiot.
“Yeah, that’s just how she goes aye mate, she’s up and down sometimes sorry Gina, not sure what to tell ya could…”
Before he could finish, the unending gloop of Ms Rineharts torso avalanched towards him and she swallowed the man whole, a solitary steel cap on the ground the only evidence of the man’s existence.
Chewing the young man’s skull and washing it down with a 3L bottle of coke, Ms Rinehart let out a belch before turning to her nearby servant.
“be sure that his family still sends me a thank you letter this Christmas,”