A Karratha Bugle investigation can reveal the man behind the infamous Bunning’s Warehouse sign was none other than our local member, Kevin Michel.
The Pilbara stalwart was caught red-handed stapling a new homemade-stencilled sign onto Roebourne Prison’s fence ahead of the state election, which is just one month away.
Usually reserved, Michel called an impromptu press conference as our reporter neared in with a camera.
“Today, I would like to pledge that if you vote for me, I promise to keep promising a Bunnings for Karratha,” the local Member for the Pilbara said.
“Don’t believe anything you read. A Bunnings Warehouse is coming soon.”
Rumours about the infamous hardware store setting up shop in K-town again have been passed down for generations.
Some even believe Sam, from Sam’s Island, first brought the blueprints to a council meeting in the 60s.
Yet the decisive topic has remained at large, with one local threatening 20,000 signatures of consent but to no avail.
Asked why he would go to the polls with such a fractious issue, Michel remained emboldened.
“I say again, if re-elected, I solemnly swear to keep kicking the can down the road about bringing a Bunnings to Karratha, despite the fact it’s been ruled out both financially and logistically hundreds of times.
“I can smell the sausages from here,” he said as be began cutting up the next piece of cardboard.
Although not directly linked to his past campaigns, the 8-year-incumbent claimed his leadership saw the Whopper come to the region in 2020, when no one thought it was possible.
The spurious claims have sparked a political shit-fight, with former Nationals leader Brendan Grylls rumoured to return to the floor if such a ludicrous idea was yet again floated.
In 2017, Grylls said he’d “die in a ditch” if Royalties for Regions were cut (they were) but would now perform a resurrection to shut it down.
“Look, I get it, there’s nothing like heading to Bunnings on the weekend.
“But this chicanery must end now, I will not let my fellow Pilbarians be misled that in a year’s time we will be enjoying an icey-cold Solo and a snagga.”
