Jeremy Pine and his wife Lucy moved to Karratha in November for work.
But with soaring temperatures and a limited friend group, it wasn’t long before both took up new hobbies.
Physio Jeremy invested in a mountain bike and spent 45C afternoons dodging spinifex in the Karratha hills.
While ED nurse Lucy tried paddle boarding, CrossFit and even dabbled in painting native Pilbara plants like the Mulla Mulla or Desert Pea.
But none of these pursuits stuck.
It all came to a head when the prospect of another ‘chilled’ weekend flooded the loving couple’s subconscious as they walked into Karratha City Plaza.
Lonely and helpless, Lucy ushered her partner into K-Town’s Mecca of shopping, Kmart.
Jeremy confessed he was initially confused but slowly became comforted by the new territory.
“In Perth, we’d usually be perusing the likes of Claremont Quarter or Karrinyup Shopping Centre,” he said.
“And believe me, I’ve clocked up a lot of hours outside the fitting rooms of Seafolly.
“But suddenly there was a change of pace, and every Saturday and Sunday Lucy and I were religiously checking what new line Anko had come out with.”
The pair reportedly started out with small purchases first – some new wine glasses, a laundry basket, which then turned into a flecked rug, a random pink dumbbell, a gas cooker and a dog chew toy.
“We don’t even have pets,” Lucy said.
“I then proceeded to by a dog’s Halloween outfit and a cat’s scratching post because it was 75 per cent off. You just can’t beat value like that.
“As for Jez, well he said he wouldn’t be seen dead in Kmart clothes, but now his whole wardrobe is Anko’s summer collection.”
With the sudden surge in spending, Jeremy said initially he thought his dodgy betting apps had led to their shared bank account being drained.
“I’ll be honest I’m not the most observant, so I hadn’t noticed that our duvet cover had changed three times in a month or that we had 4 different bookshelves in our family room,” he said.
“But when I checked the savings one day by chance, more than a grand has disappeared.”
On the phone to raise the alarm to ING, Lucy fessed up.
“She showed me the spare room, which was chock-a-block like a Kmart storeroom,” he said.
“You’d need a forklift to get half the stuff out of there… tell me, for what good reason did she buy the Armor All Car Value Pack.”
Lucy cited isolation and loneliness as her reasons.
“It just gave me a fuzzy feeling to buy things in the aircon, it made me feel happy,” she said.
“The worst bit about it is I spend so much time there that I’m on first name basis with most of the staff – yet they still ask for my receipt every time I walk out.”
Local financial expert Ron Sweeney said the sales figures in Karratha were phenomenal.
“It’s one of the best performing stores, I should know, my wife spends half her bloody life there,” he said.
“If I could shut the shop down I would.
“The sooner people realise that getting on the bush chooks and buying a fishing rod is a sound investment, the better off they’ll be in the long term.”
The astronomical jump in sales have somehow still not translated to an increase in employee salaries or benefits, with much of it reportedly being reinvested back into opening new child-labour factories in an unnamed Indian village.