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Controversial New PR Move From Fortescue Sees Twiggy Forrest Address Traditional Owners in Green Face

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Troubled former Fortescue CEO Twiggy Forrest is making headlines again, fresh off his one man show “Boil Like Eggs” where he wagged his finger at a group of businessman and world leaders that the climate change that he has heavily contributed to is set to increase humidity to unsustainable levels for human life.

This time the righteous maverick has shucked the whispy Tony Stark goatee in favour of a bolder approach. Taking the stage recently to address Pilbara traditional owners, whose land he has destroyed and whos pockets he has fought tooth and nail to keep empty, in a bright Fortescue green face paint, likely in line with the companies new marketing transition to appear more environmentally motivated and less like they are contributing to the destruction of potential world heritage sites and more broadly, the planet.

“Brothers, Sisters. I come to speak today not to discuss the terms of our financial settlement in which I have kept the lions share of the profits from. Instead I offer you the question of who you would trust to guide your future? An overweight woman who can’t handle an unattractive, albeit realistic portrait of herself? Or a man whose selfish indulgences have led to the ruin of Super Rugby and the destruction of any kind of diversity of ownership for any successful organisation in Western Australia?”

“Join me now, or boil like an egg in the echoes of time.”

Karratha Bugle

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