An intricate conversation heard outside the toilet blocks of Billabong Roadhouse has served as a warning that cyclone buffs are back in force ahead of the yearly shit show.
Surveyor Mark Prendergast, 38, who’s admired the watercooler folklore chat since moving to the Pilbara two years ago, was chomping at the bit when he stumbled upon three punters predicting this year’s damage.
“Well, I tell ya if it comes through Mardie it’s going to flatten those poor cunts in Roebourne,” a balding man scoffed.
With Willy weather, Windy, Bom and Navionics on rotation, Mark couldn’t help himself but get involved – ready to outdo his foes at a moment’s notice.
“Hah… it’ll be a fizzer, always a fizzer,” Mark interjected.
Arms folded, the men gave nods of acceptance and slowly opened the bandwidth of the circle.
Accountant Michael Fresdon, 54, who has been waiting since Winter to indulge in the low pressure system jargon then reportedly turned it up a notch.
“When Damo hit, I was likely the first bloke on Facebook to predict that it was gonna hit cat 4,” he declared.
“I’d be fucked if I’m going to listen to the boffins at BOM who are always jumping the gun.”
With the group stunned into silence, all that could be heard was a Chinese tourist spraying last night’s chow mein in trap number 3.
Keen to move it on, the other pedestrian meteorologist began to wax lyrical: “April 23, 1989… gusts exceeding 280 km/h.… yada yada yada.”
It was at that moment Mark told the Bugle that he realised what he had become.
“As those wankers carried on, I was actually silently wishing I would get swept up in the next cyclone, uprooted like a palm tree and catapulted at breakneck speeds into Sam’s island.”
